Why this matters to me: LGBTQ instead of ‘gay’ should be obvious: it’s a wider catch-all term than ‘gay’. If you don’t understand why two extra letters instead of attempting to net us all in ‘gay’ is important, you’re beyond help. It does not mean the same thing, even if it “does to you”. ‘Gay’ conjures an image of a very specific type of person you’re trying to refer to, and ‘LGBTQ’ by it’s very nature forces you to remind yourself there are more than gay people who’s rights are being undermined. And if you’re using ‘gay’ as a way to not include trans* people, you can hand in your ally status right now. Fight for all of us or none of us.
Now, about “straight”. It is unnecessary. Ask yourself, why do you feel the need to clarify that you’re straight when supporting us?
1. Because you don’t want to be mistaken for non-straight? That’s not cool. So what if someone thinks you’re not straight? Wanting your heterosexual status or relationship validated is not a legitimate reason; look around you. Culture and society validates your existence every second of every day. You don’t have to fear reprisal because of the sex/gender combination of your relationship. You aren’t under/mis-represented in the media. You have full rights in regards to your relationship. You don’t face bigotry or physical violence for publicly displaying your relationship because of the sex/gender makeup of it.
2. Because you think more people will listen to you if they know you’re straight? I really don’t want allies who actively support the system where heterosexism or bigotry doesn’t matter when queer and trans folk spend their lives talking about it, and isn’t taken seriously until a straight person notices it. That might be “how things work”, but if you’re not challenging that, you are helping to continue to oppress us. However well-intentioned “straight but not narrow” sentiments are, they hurt us as much as help us, because they patronise and take focus and momentum from the people who should be at the forefront of the discussions.